I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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