Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
