Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This girl is more easily done than said...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize