I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
