The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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