how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
