Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
too bad you live with your parents still
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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