now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
