wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
