I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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