:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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