Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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