Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
