Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's official drugs can't kill me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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