Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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