Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
