this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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