Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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