Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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