Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The adults are the big ones right?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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