Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
