How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
