If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it because I queefed?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
