I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
