It's Friday. Sex?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
