also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
