We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
