today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
