never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
