He uses pillows to masturbate.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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