Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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