Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
