Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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