just survived the first fart of the relationship.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
