you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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