don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
