Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we made out on top of his cat.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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