my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
