we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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