And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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