Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
