They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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