That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
