It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
