My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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