I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
this hospital has no fireball
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
