can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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