he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize