Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
