Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize