i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
