Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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