I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize