i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
