We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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