So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize