Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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