I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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