She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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