I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
