The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
