Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize