I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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