If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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