That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
