Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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