Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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